Paramount owns them. I rhyme them. And critique them.

SEASON SEVEN
by Cybermum

Voyager's seven years are done.
The final episode has run.
And so I will this one last time
Present to you my views in rhyme.

When last we left our fearless crew
Awaiting Unimatrix Two
Some had been assimilated;
Seven hadn't osculated.

Both these critical conditions
(Key factors on away missions)
Were addressed in the second part.
A fairly decent season start.

Seven dealt with Imperfection.
Icheb's timely disconnection
Of his cybernetic node
Saved her from fatal overload.

Fast cars and ships are oft-used ploys
To attract adolescent boys.
Tom Paris begged on bended knee
"B'Elanna will you Drive with me?"

Teero's evil intercession
In the episode Repression
Caused a small Maquis uprising.
Tuvok's involvement - surprising?

The EMH was abducted
And fought red tape which obstructed
A system in grave disrepair -
Patients needing Critical Care.

Reg Barclay and Deanna Troi
Were more than just a ratings ploy.
Ferengi plans depended on
An Inside Man to make the con.

Doc's invasion took its toll
On Seven in Body and Soul.
He opted to over indulge.
She fought the battle of the bulge.

Buster Kimcaid took a firm stand
And fought for Nightingale's command.
Icheb believed he'd found romance.
Harry practiced his captain's stance.

Hirogen warriors got their due
In Flesh and Blood, Parts One and Two.
Janeway believed she was the cause.
Action ensued. In all it was

Another Doctor episode;
Once more the PTB bestowed
More sentience on the hologram -
A theme they used ad nauseam.

Tricks of time were played in Shattered.
Chakotay jumped. Kathryn nattered.
Ohhh... What the future might have been
Had they rewritten 'that' key scene.

B'Elanna wished to redesign
The DNA which did define
The Lineage of her Klingon child.
An ethics dilemma - Trek-styled.

Eight inmates under death sentence.
One expressed sincere Repentance.
A quick cure for insanity.
Seven found more humanity.

An ancient Klingon Prophecy
And Torres' child the honouree.
A duel, bat'lehs, gagh - how yucky.
Neelix finally got lucky.

Another Void in Delta space.
Another evil alien race.
Another unwise alliance.
Another dose of Trek-science.

Amnesia played a vital role
In Workforce, as did mind control.
Ralph Malph turned up as a bad guy
And Jaffen captured Janeway's eye.

Chakotay leapt into the fray
Tom kept B'Elanna from harm's way.
The Doc and Kim planned a rescue
And Seven helped in Workforce Two.

It seems the only place in Trek
For sex is on the holodeck.
"Human Error," Seven simpered,
And all the J/C fans whimpered.

She's faced the Borg, Kazon and Voth -
Janeway's cut from sturdy cloth.
So tell me - was there someone who
Could better baby-sit Q2?

Once more the Doctor set his sights
On gaining holographic rights.
Author Author portrayed the crew
As oppressors of you know who.

Friendship One must be recovered.
Damaged aliens were discovered.
Mission stressful. Planet scary.
Oh my goodness, they killed Carey.

Chak depleted the shuttle pool
But Tom attended traffic school.
Seven bonded with a small child
A Natural Law of the wild?

On an asteroid Neelix found
A Homestead hidden underground.
He said farewell forever more
As Delta Quad Ambassador.

A holographic entity.
Some crises of identity.
The Doctor had a rescue plan:
He morphed into Renaissance Man.

Tuvok insane; Captain Harry;
Miral grown up; the Doc married.
Chak and Seven? Give me a break.
The worst of many a mistake.

Though Voyager was home at last
The Admiral sought to change the past.
Two Janeways played at their Endgame.
The Borg will never be the same.

The T.V.'s off. The rhymes are done.
I'll now head out into the sun.
And should the need for Trek arise
Maybe I'll try the Enterprise.