Author's Note: Here's story #5, "The Best Man," my follow-up to "Quintessential Zoe." Siubhan says I did a good job with Tom, and I must admit he was a lot of fun to write.

Paramount owns their characters, and I own mine. Mine like to play with theirs. What can I say? This story is lovingly dedicated to Brett and Siubhan, who both requested a Tom and Mira story.

The Best Man
by Maquis Mom

“You want me to what?” I squawked.

“Forget it, Paris, it was a bad idea.” Chakotay gave me a look that would have shriveled my balls if I hadn’t been so used to getting those looks from him.

“No--I--wait a minute,” I said. “Did you just ask me to be your best man? As in getting married?”

“That’s the general idea. Look, forget it.” He turned on his heel and started to stride off but I ran along behind him and finally pulled up alongside.

“Hey, wait, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” I said lamely.

“No offense taken. I’ll ask Neelix.”

Damn Indian, I can never tell if he’s joking...

“Okay, I’ll do it.” I was next to him now, still in this footrace down the corridor, and I managed to get ahead of him and turn around. Either he was gonna stop and talk to me, or mow me down.

He stopped, barely, and stood glaring at me, not saying a word.

“I’m sorry if I reacted badly, but you surprised the crap outta me, Chakotay,” I said.

“Why are you surprised? You must have heard the rumors. Hell, you probably started them.” He grinned at that, and I could see he wasn’t as pissed off as he acted.

“I woulda made a bundle on a betting pool if you hadn’t outlawed gambling,” I said piously. “So, Zoe popped the question, did she?”

He couldn’t help it, this time he cracked up. I laughed, too, but I suspected I was right. Zoe was a force to be reckoned with. Ever since the incident on that strange moon that looked so much like something the Caretaker might’ve built, she’d had her hooks in Chakotay, and she wasn’t about to let him go. Not that he fought very hard. She’d actually been after him for months and he’d pretty much stopped trying to get away until that evil bitch Seska stuck her fake Bajoran nose back into his life. After that, it took a tragedy, or what looked like one, to straighten things out for them. I still wonder what really happened back on that moon, but I guess we’ll never know. Anyway, little Zoe got her man, and it seemed they were going to make it official. Chakotay was still laughing, and people were poking their heads out of doorways to see what was going on. It’s not something anybody’s used to yet, Voyager’s First Officer acting so happy all the time.

He finally sobered up enough to talk. “You said you would do it, right? I--uh--I hope you meant that.”

“Well, yeah, sure I meant it. It’s an honor.” I shook my head. “Like I said, I really didn’t expect you to ask ME. I mean, maybe one of the Maquis--”

He shook his head and looked uncomfortable. “You and I have come a long way in the past two years, Tom. I consider you a friend, and I know that Zoe does, too. So, we thought--”

I started laughing again. “This was her idea, too, wasn’t it?”

He got a panicked look in his eyes.

“Zoe wants me to be the best man at the wedding, huh?” I mused. “I wonder why...”

I had never been a best man before, and I had no idea how much work was involved. Of course, the happy couple decided that a week was more than enough time to plan a wedding and they just dumped all the details in my lap and went about their business, so it probably seemed like a real cinch to them. They didn’t have to calm Neelix down when I told him how much food we had to have for the reception and how few days he had to prepare it. They didn’t have to deal with a hundred and fifty people asking them about wedding presents. They sat with Captain Janeway for ten lousy minutes and talked about the ceremony, and then they told me to handle everything else. Well, me and Zoe’s maid of honor, Mira Bolari.

Mira. Boy, I really don’t get this girl at all. She and Zoe were at the Academy together and I guess they’re best friends, but they’re so different it’s scary. Zoe’s like one of the guys in a lot of ways, she’s easy to talk to and she doesn’t put on airs. Mira is nothing BUT airs, and she’s got a way of looking at me like I’m some kind of disgusting insect. I think she’d really like to swat me if only I wasn’t a superior officer.

Like for instance when we first got together to make plans, she came right in there with this attitude. “All right, Paris,” she said in that oh-so-patrician accent of hers. “I suggest you let me handle everything.”

“No way, honey,” I drawled. “I’m the best man, and--”

She snorted. SNORTED. Some lady...

“That remains to be seen,” she said.

I looked her up and down and did my damnedest to give her the idea that I thought she was the insect. It was hard, though, because the truth is she’s really beautiful. Sleek black hair, creamy pale skin, eyes the color of the violets my aunts used to bring in pots for my mom every spring--yeah, I’d noticed her the first day I was on board Voyager. I tried to get to know her but she just flat out didn’t like me right from the very beginning, and as much as she prided herself on being such a perfect lady and exemplary Starfleet Academy graduate, she never troubled to hide it. Her lip would curl when she saw me, and her pretty nose would wrinkle like she smelled something bad. On her this expression looked damn attractive, I admit--but the thing is I never figured out why she hated me so much. Maybe she believed everything she heard about me. Maybe she thought she was too good for an ex-con. Hell, maybe she knows dear ol’ Dad. He always looked at me that way, too, but it never looked so good on him...

“Why do I think this is gonna be the longest week of my life?” I asked rhetorically.

“Look,” she hissed, “Zoe is my best friend in the entire universe and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure that her wedding day is absolutely perfect, so I am not going to allow you to mess it up for her!”

I just stared at her. “What makes you think I plan to do that?”

“Oh, you won’t plan it, I’m sure, but somehow or other it will happen. Isn’t that the story of your life?”

That really hurt.

“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” She stared at me like she couldn’t believe she’d let that slip out, and her eyes filled with tears.

“The hell you didn’t,” I snarled. I couldn’t believe I was letting this spoiled bitch get to me, but as I watched two perfect tears slide down her cheeks, I wanted to cry, too. Instead, I tore out of there as fast as I could.

“Now, Tommy, tell Sandrine all about it, s’il vous plait,” the holographic hostess purred in my ear a few minutes later. I had gone where I always went when I was messed up, straight to Sandrine’s.

“Nothing to tell,” I snapped, shoving the shot glass in her direction again.

She poured obediently, but before I could knock the booze back she put her plump little hand over it. “Much though I appreciate the business, I do not like to see you like thees,” she said softly. “Tell me what troubles you so.”

I sighed. Sandrine might be a hologram, but she’s a good listener. “Her name is Mira Bolari,” I finally said.

Sandrine nodded. “A woman, oui. I thought so.” Her brow wrinkled in thought. “Mira,” she repeated. “Ah, she ees the handsome one who always wins at pool, non?”

“No, that’s Captain Janeway. Mira is--”

“Wait, I know. The little one with the curly hair, the one who ees so very much in love with that Commander Chakotay. Ah, Tommy, never tell me you care for her,” she said sympathetically. “That one, she sees nothing but dark eyes and tattoos in her dreams, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. And Chakotay would have my butt in the brig if I so much as winked at her. Nah, Zoe’s a cute kid, but she’s not the problem, at least not directly. It’s her friend Mira who’s driving me nuts.” I went ahead and spilled the whole story, aware that Sandrine wasn’t programmed to do much more than pour drinks and dispense platitudes, but needing to talk to someone. And at least she wasn’t going to go running around telling everybody on board about my problems.

“So,” she said when I finished, “You think thees woman hates you, Tommy?”

“Yeah, she hates me. She’s made that glaringly obvious.”

Sandrine just shook her head. “For so smart a man, you can sometimes be--what is it that your friend ‘Arry Kim says?--a real bonehead?”

I had been fiddling with my untouched shot--the holographic stuff just doesn’t cut it--but I glanced up in surprise. “I never heard Harry say that.”

“Hmmm, well, sometimes he comes in and we talk. Poor ‘Arry, he is such a troubled boy, so worried over everything, so unhappy. He needs--well, nevaire mind what he needs, I am working on that.” Sandrine cocked her head at me. “You are changing the subject, and do not think I don’t know that.”

“Okay, so what did you mean, that for a smart guy I’m being dumb?” Might as well let her spit it out. It was either that or delete her, and I really didn’t want to be alone.

“Well, you will admit I have much knowledge of the affairs of men and women, non? In a place like thees, I see it all, and--” she gave me a grin-- “in my day I ‘ave played a round or two in that oldest of games.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you have,” I said automatically. “But what makes you think this is a man/woman thing, anyway? It’s just Bolari being a controlling bitch, and trying to put me in my place. Which she probably thinks is down in the bowels of Voyager, scouring out the latrines or something.”

She just shook her head. “Bolari. Mira Bolari. I am sure that I--wait, ees she the one with the sultry pout and the forehead--err--?” She gestured, fingers spread, obviously indicating B’Elanna Torres’s Klingon ridges.

I just shook my head. “B’Elanna,” I reminded her.

“Oh, oui--B’Elanna, Bolari, I cannot keep them straight.” She shrugged. “No matter. This Mira, whomever she is, she is in love with you.”

I felt my jaw drop. I stared at her for a minute, probably looking like a total bonehead, and then I started to laugh. I laughed until my sides hurt and the tears poured down my cheeks, and then I laughed some more.

Sandrine chuckled along companionably, but when I finally wound down she reached out and patted my hand. “I was not making the joke,” she said in mock reproof.

“Sandrine, my love, you have no idea how big a joke that really is. Look, I gotta go.” I grabbed up the whiskey and tossed the shot back as I was standing up.

“I was not making the joke,” she repeated more seriously. “You may run away from me because I am speaking the truth to you, but you cannot run away from the truth itself. This girl, she treats you badly, and for no reason, you say. There ees always a reason, cheri. Always. And if you look for it, perhaps it will be just as I say, that she is in love with you.”

“And perhaps Denebian slime devils will fly out my butt, too,” I said as I bent to kiss her on the cheek. She was a hologram, sure, but I was fond of her.

“I sincerely ‘ope I am not around to see that ‘appen,” she said with a sniff.

I grinned at her and gave her a little wave as I headed for the door.

“Tommy.” She wasn’t through with me yet.

I turned to look at her.

“Is she very beautiful, this Mira?”

“Yeah.” It was painful to admit it, but I couldn’t lie.

She nodded thoughtfully. “And she ees all the time going out of her way to be disagreeable to you?”

“Yeah, but--”

“And you ‘ave nevaire behaved disrespectfully to her or tried to kiss her in a dark corner or made improper suggestions to her? You are all the time a gentleman with her?”

“Well, I asked her out for a drink once, months ago. I thought she was gonna gag all over my boots.” I shook my head. “I just stayed away after that.”

She nodded. “No wonder she ees so angry with you.”

“Huh?”

“Ask again. Perhaps she weel surprise you this time, and not gag.”

“Yeah, right.” I’d had enough of Sandrine’s bistro psychoanalysis for one night. Mira in love with me? Uh huh. Hell, they’re ALL in love with me, from Captain Janeway on down. Zoe’s only marrying Chakotay because she knows she doesn’t have a chance with me, right? I wondered briefly if Sandrine would agree if I said all that out loud, but decided not to test my theory. “Good night, Sandrine.”

“Bon soir, Tommy--and do not forget what I ‘ave said.”

“Okay. End program.” I left, determined to forget everything she ‘ad said.

I overslept the next morning. I’d been awake half the night, and all the pillow-pounding and blanket-yanking I did left me with a headache when I woke up ten minutes before I was due on the bridge. “Friggin’ computer. Why the HELL didn’t you wake me up?” I yelled while I was hopping around the room trying to get into my uniform.

“Please restate the question,” the computer responded primly.

I thought of several obscene replies but couldn’t decide which one sounded the worst. “Oh, forget it,” I finally grumbled. I ran my hands through my hair without bothering to check the mirror, then hit the door, deciding to run by the mess hall on my way to the bridge. Some of Neelix’s latest coffee substitute might either cure the headache or kill me. At that point I didn’t care which. I sprinted down to the turbolift, and just as I got there the door opened, someone rammed into me, and I felt something hot spill down the front of my uniform.

“Shit!” That was not a word I expected to hear coming out of Mira Bolari’s exquisitely curved pink lips, but it was her, all right. She stared at my chest and then at the nearly empty coffee cup in her hand. I just stood there like an idiot while the highly-scented coffee substitute burned its way through my turtleneck and took aim on my chest hairs. “Are you all right?” she asked almost fearfully. I guess she must’ve remembered the crappy end to our evening because her cheeks began to flame.

“Uh--yeah. Sure. No harm done.” Hey, who needs chest hair? I pulled the material away and glanced down to make sure I wasn’t on fire or anything. To my surprise, she raised her hand and helped me unzip the front of my uniform, then reached inside and patted at my turtleneck. Most of the coffee had been absorbed by the uniform, and it was cooling rapidly. “It’s okay, really. Just--umm--damp.”

“I didn’t see you coming. I should have looked.” To give her credit, she looked really miserable.

“No, it was my fault.” I started to zip back up, but her hand was still resting on my chest. She looked down and blushed even harder, yanking it away. She has the prettiest hands, I noticed, with long slender fingers and perfect oval nails. I closed up the sodden uniform. “Really, I wasn’t paying any attention, I just barreled right into you.”

“Well, I’m still sorry. Do you have time to change?”

I shook my head. “If I don’t run, I’ll be late as it is.”

She nodded. I turned to leave then looked back at her. “Mira, are you--do you want to have a drink with me after our shift ends?”

She gaped at me and all the rosy color seemed to drain from her face. I could see her fingers gripping that coffee cup so tight I doubt I could have pried them loose. She closed her mouth and swallowed carefully, and I wondered if she was about to gag. Her answer, when it finally came, surprised me. “Yes. I’d like that,” she said.

“Okay, great. See you later.” I turned and ran. All the way to the bridge I wondered why the hell I’d done that. By the time I got there I had it all rationalized. We had a wedding to plan, after all. Of course we had to get together and talk about it, so why not do it in a civilized way, over a drink, right? Right.

I bounded out onto the bridge and headed for the con, passing close by Chakotay as I did so. “Having a bad morning?” he inquired.

“No, why do you ask?” I realized as I said it that my headache seemed better.

He glanced at the sodden, aromatic stain on my chest. “You’re supposed to drink the coffee, not pour it on yourself,” he said pointedly, giving me that look he gets when he thinks I’ve been up to something but he doesn’t know what it is yet.

“Thanks, I’ll try it that way next time,” I drawled. Let him wonder.

For some reason the day really dragged. I managed to sneak a shower and change my uniform during my lunch break, and as I was hurrying back to my post while swallowing the last bite of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Chakotay stopped me again. “Go down to Stellar Cartography, okay?” he said uncomfortably.

“Wuh--guh--” I swallowed manfully and waited for the peanut butter to give up. “Why am I going to Stellar Cartography?” I finally was able to ask.

“Because Zoe needs to talk to you about the wedding and she says it can’t wait.” He gave me that stone face look that said if I made a single smartass comment about the highly unusual situation of a junior ensign apparently handing out orders to her first officer, he would probably pop me one.

“On my way, sir,” I said smartly. “So, who’s gonna drive while I’m gone?”

“I am.”

“Right. See you later.” I turned to leave, but sometimes my evil doppelganger seizes control and says things that get me in trouble--and sure enough, it happened again. “Are you really sure you wanna marry her?” I heard myself murmuring to his back. “If she’s like this now, what’s gonna happen when she gets that ring on her finger?”

I saw the back of his neck turn brick red, so I beat feet outta there and went down to Stellar Cartography. When I went inside Zoe was sitting at her console fiddling with a padd, looking lost in thought. I coughed, and she jumped about a mile, then gave me one of her saucy little grins.

“Good, it’s you,” she said as she tossed the padd down on the table beside her. “I was afraid you were Chakotay.”

I leaned on the console next to her and gave a low whistle. “That don’t sound good, kiddo. You two fighting or something?”

“Oh, no, it’s just--jitters, you know. The wedding is only four days away, and there’s so much to do, and I just spent a whole hour with him trying to learn a few simple traditional phrases for our vows, but I’m really a dunce when it comes to languages and--well, I hope I can convince him to use the old ‘to love and to honor in sickness and in health’ stuff instead.” She shook her head, sending her curls bouncing. “What are you doing here, Tom?”

I gaped at her. “Chakotay said you needed to see me.”

“Right, I forgot. You see how crazy this is making me?” She clutched at her curls and rolled her eyes at me. “Maybe we should just live in sin, what do you think? Would Captain Janeway go for that?”

“Would she go for living in sin with Chakotay, you mean?” I snickered.

Zoe gave me a punch right in the gut, her usual response to my attempts at humor. I wondered if she ever did that to her fiancé, but decided probably not. He’s not the funniest guy on the ship, after all. “Never mind. I’m already getting wedding presents, I guess I have to go through with it,” she said with a little sigh, then spoiled the effect by giving me a beaming smile. “I’m getting married in four days to the most wonderful man in the universe, isn’t that the most incredibly amazing thing?” she asked dreamily.

“Well, now that you mention it, it is a little hard to believe.” I ducked the next punch. “So, what did you want? I’m on duty, y’know.”

She sobered instantly. “There are problems,” she said. “I really need your help.”

“Hey, I’m not any better at languages than you are. If the Big C can’t get you talkin’ the talk by Saturday, that’s his problem. And if you expect me to tell him you want to change the vows--” I crossed my arms and stuck my chin out at her. “Not me, no way.”

“Oh, that. Don’t worry, I can handle him,” she said airily. Zoe is the cockiest kid I know. In a lot of ways she reminds me of--me. Funny that Chakotay could fall in love with her, when most of the time he couldn’t even stand to be in the same room--or the same quadrant--with me. And that reminded me of something I’d been meaning to ask.

“Zoe, why the hell did he ask me to be his best man?”

She looked instantly nervous. “Well, he thinks a lot of you,” she said to the top of the table. The kid couldn’t lie to save her own life, something I suspected Chakotay would have ample cause to thank his ancestors for as their relationship progressed.

“You were the one who suggested me, weren’t you?” I coaxed.

“Did he tell you that?” Her big brown eyes clouded with anger.

“No, I figured it out on my own. What I can’t figure out is why.”

“Does it really matter why? No, of course not, the important thing is that you accepted. And that reminds me, I have a list someplace here,” she said as she began scrabbling around on the cluttered tabletop. “Things I forgot to tell you about that really need to be taken care of as soon as possible. There’s the decorations, for one thing. Neelix is giving me a lot of grief about them, and--ahh--” She spotted the padd she’d been holding earlier and pounced on it. “Will you please take a look at this and see what you can do? Mira will be glad to help.” She smiled guilelessly and handed me the padd. “You’d better get back to the bridge, don’t you think? You’re on duty, after all.”

I scrolled down her list. There were forty two items on it. Great.

“No, Tom, really, you can handle it. I--we have a lot of faith in you.”

“Uh huh.” Well, if I just didn’t go to bed again until after the wedding... My eyes stopped at number twenty eight. ‘Arrange two hour play list of background music for the reception. Classics, nothing intrusive.' That had to be Chakotay’s comment. I wondered if Nine Inch Nails would be intrusive. Hell, they’re definitely classic!

I glanced at Zoe, who was watching me and chewing her lip. “I suppose Chakotay is flying Voyager while you’re here,” she said meditatively.

“Not for long,” I said, getting the hint. She wasn’t going to answer my question and I had plenty of things to do, so I’d leave it alone for now. I was determined to figure out what her game was, though, and I still had four days to do it.

"Number twelve. Under no circumstances is there going to be a bachelor party. Bride’s orders.” I shook my head. “Can you believe that?” I asked Mira as we walked into Sandrine’s that night. To my surprise she hadn’t tried to cancel on the drink, and she even smiled at me when I showed up to pick her up. I held the door for her, glancing in to see if Sandrine was there. I’d meant to delete her character earlier so she wouldn’t come snooping around, but taking care of items seventeen and twenty four on my list took me longer than I expected. Ah, well, I could handle Sandrine.

“So, is there going to be one?” Mira was asking.

I went blank, but then remembered. “A bachelor party, you mean? Probably not. Chief Stick In The Mud wouldn’t go for it, would he?”

She laughed at that. I’d never noticed before what a nice laugh she had. “I think since Zoe came into his life he’s doing a lot of things no one ever expected him to do. Maybe he’d like to have a bachelor party, you never know.”

“I guess I could ask him.” I started to head for the bar, saw Sandrine standing there with a knowing smile, then changed my mind and gestured toward a table in the corner. The place was quiet now but on any given night it filled up pretty quickly. “We can talk over there, okay?”

“Sure.” She went ahead of me, giving me the opportunity to notice how well her jumpsuit fit her. I frowned to myself. This was Mira “Touch Me Not” Bolari, the one who hates my guts, and I was not supposed to be looking appreciatively at her tight little butt. Best I remembered that before she caught me. I glanced away just as she looked back over her shoulder. Damn, too close.

We sat down. I saw Ricki come sauntering out from behind the bar and decided that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, but to my surprise, Sandrine caught her arm and steered her away. A minute later she came over with a bottle of wine and two glasses, set them on the table, gave me a wink, and sashayed away without saying a word. Amazing.

“So, I--”

“I really--”

We both started talking at once. I shut my mouth and poured the wine, motioning to her to go on. She took the glass and stared down into it, then glanced up at me. “I owe you an apology,” she finally said.

“No, I like having pretty girls pour coffee on me, really,” I said facetiously when she fell silent. Her forehead wrinkled into a tiny frown, and I realized that my wit wouldn’t cut it with her. “It’s--I mean, I know it was an accident,” I added.

“I wasn’t talking about that,” she said. “I’m sorry it happened, of course, but, as you said, it was just an accident.” She picked up her wine but didn’t drink it. “What I meant was that I owed you an apology for the things I said last night.”

“Oh.” I took a big swallow of wine. “Yeah, you were pretty tough on me.”

“I didn’t intend to say what I did, Tom. It just slipped out, and I apologize for that.”

I thought about that for a minute. “So you really do think I’m a screw-up, but you wish you hadn’t come right out and said so, is that it?” Shit, I’d spent ten whole minutes feeling in semi-charity with her, and here she was, pissing me off again! “Thanks a lot.”

She stared at me. “That’s not what I meant. You--I don’t know, you make me angry, and I say things I don’t really mean.” She sat the wine back down, very carefully.

“So you DON’T think I’m a screw-up, then.” I caught her eyes. “Or do you?”

Her face flushed and she didn’t say anything.

“Okay, fine. Nobody says you have to approve of me, Bolari. Hell, you’re right about everything, so you gotta be right about me.” I stood up, shoving the chair aside. “But get it through your head that I will not do anything to spoil Zoe and Chakotay’s wedding, okay? In fact, just to set your mind at rest, how about if I go and find them now and bow out? Harry can be the best man--that is, if he’s acceptable to YOU.”

I was getting madder by the second and I knew I had to get out of there before I exploded, but she grabbed my arm, not letting me leave. “This is exactly what I’m talking about,” she hissed. “I tried to be nice to you, and to mend fences, but you won’t let me. You make me so furious when you--” Her violet eyes flashed at me and she ground to a halt, as if unable to put into words just how low I really was.

“When I screw it up, right?” I taunted. “Right, Mira?” I laughed bitterly. “Baby, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Watch this.” I cupped my hands around her head, tilting it back so she had to look up at me. I bent my head and kissed her hard, letting her feel my anger. She was too shocked to move at first, and then she began to pull away. I didn’t try to stop her, but before she could evade me my mouth went soft on hers and my grip on her head loosened so that I was barely touching her hair. I could feel her mouth tremble, and then she was kissing me back. Her lips parted and my tongue slid between them, teasing. Somebody moaned, maybe we both did. Her hands were gripping my forearms tightly, tighter than I’d held her just a moment before, nails digging me through the sleeves of my shirt. Jesus, who’d have thought, who’d have dreamed--?

I was the one to back away. For half a second I couldn’t see straight, but I pulled myself together and stared down at her. Her lips were moist, and her eyes softer and darker than I’d ever seen them. I picked up her untouched wine glass and drank most of it in one gulp, then put it into her hands, closing them around it. It shook, but she held onto it. My mind had gone blank. What was it I had intended to say? Something witty and cutting, something to show her I had as much contempt for her as she had for me, something callous. Nothing came to me. She was still staring up at me with those incredible eyes that a man could get lost in. I knew if I didn’t just leave I was gonna kiss her again, and I’d be a goner. I opened my mouth. Come on, Tommy boy, say something, attack her, wound her with your rapier-like wit. Hit her first before she recovers because the next thing out of her mouth is gonna kill you, or break your heart... I tore my eyes away from hers, then got the hell out of there.

I got through the next two days by taking the coward’s way out. I appointed Harry as the official second-best man, and delegated a whole bunch of stuff to him. He didn’t know anything more about wedding protocol than I did, so he thought I had the authority to do that. Of course, he went right to the ship’s databanks and boned up on weddings first thing, and when he told me that there was no such thing as a second-best man I confessed that I was going nuts trying to get everything done--so he decided to help anyway, protocol be damned. He took care of the musical selections for the reception and even managed to talk to Neelix about the decorations and convince him that a champagne fountain was out of the question. He also arranged the seating chart and coordinated with Chakotay on a crew rotation that guaranteed that everybody on Voyager would get to spend some time at the reception. Harry was an inspired choice, if I do say so myself. The rest of the stuff on the list I split pretty evenly with Mira. I got Harry to set up a nifty little wedding database and we did all our communicating that way. She would leave me email telling me what she did, and I would send her email back, so we didn’t have to be in the same room or actually talk to each other. I didn’t have any intention of spending time with her before the wedding, when of course I wouldn’t have any choice but at least we’d be under the public eye and hopefully nothing would happen except that we’d both have a lousy time.

I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I kept telling myself that it was just because I was so pissed at her, but then I’d get to thinking about that kiss. I decided that Mira Bolari was a dangerous woman and I couldn’t afford to get tangled up with her, so I kept my nose to the grindstone, and took a cold shower or two. I’d pretty much struck out with all the eligible women on board, but I thought once the wedding was over I’d see if anybody was willing to give me a second chance. That was what I needed, some sweet, willing female to help me take my mind off Mira. Maybe Izzy Delaney, I knew she still had a soft spot for me...

On the night before the night before the wedding, I actually had nothing to do. I buzzed Harry, but he was working on place cards or something, and he made it plain that he didn’t need my help. Even though I was staying away from Sandrine’s on principle I finally wandered down to the holodeck anyway. To my surprise, Sandrine’s program wasn’t running, but another public one was. It was a gym setting, with weights and punching bags and exercise equipment. I thought that sounded like a good way to waste the evening, and I was already dressed in my ratty old sweats, so why not? I went inside.

The place was deserted except for one solitary figure running doggedly on a treadmill in the corner. Chakotay--good, he wasn’t one to want to chat. I went over to the punching bags and took a few careless swings. It might feel good to hit something, actually. A few minutes later I was pummeling away and feeling savagely elated. I let my mind go blank, just concentrating on the rhythm and the stinging pain in my knuckles.

“You should put the gloves on, or at least tape your hands,” Chakotay commented. He’d finished his run and come over to watch.

“Doesn’t--matter,” I grunted. “Feels--good.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. I was hoping he’d just towel off and leave. No such luck. “Do I know the name of the person?” he asked.

“Huh?” I stopped punching and turned to stare at him.

“You’re obviously taking a hell of a lot of aggression out on somebody. I just wondered who.” He leaned casually against a pile of mats and ran a towel over his damp hair.

“No one in particular,” I said vaguely. “So, what are YOU doing here? No social deals with Zoe tonight?”

He shook his head. “She was busy with some kind of shower. When they kicked me out there was a room full of women all talking at once. This whole wedding thing is insane. If I’d known--”

I laughed. “You’d still be doing it, as long as it was what Zoe wanted.”

“You’re probably right.” He sighed. “At this point I’ll just be glad when it’s over.”

“Well, I don’t think there have been too many grooms who didn’t say that. Nice to know you’re part of a tradition.” I left the punching bag and shifted over to one of the weight machines. Maybe if I worked my body hard enough my brain would give up tormenting me. Chakotay followed me. Great, he wants to talk. “I think everything’s ready for the big day,” I said gamely as I set the weights up and prepared to do some serious bench pressing.

“You’ve done a great job, Tom,” he said quietly.

I felt my face flushing as I stretched out and reached for the bar. The big guy isn’t one for compliments. The few times he’s been forced to comment favorably on something I did, it usually came out grudgingly, but not this time. “Thanks. I--thanks.”

We both lifted in silence for a few minutes, and then he cleared his throat. “So you’ve managed to work with Mira, then?”

Ah, shit. “Umm, sure. It’s been swell.”

I heard a thump as Chakotay let his weights fall. “Zoe seemed to think there might have been problems between you,” he said.

“Problems? Hell, no. Everything is peachy.” I kept lifting, not looking over at him.

“That bad, huh?” Was there a trace of sympathy in his voice?

I sighed, and sat up. “She hates my guts, and no matter how hard I try to convince her that I’m an okay guy, I always seem to make things worse. It’ll be a miracle if we don’t come to blows walking down the aisle.”

Chakotay didn’t say anything for a while, so I sneaked a look at him. He seemed pretty troubled, like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should. Finally he stood up and walked over to where I sat. He kept his eyes on the weights. “Maybe you should cut her a little slack, Tom,” he said.

“Maybe she’s the one who needs to cut the slack. I’m no saint, but I’ve paid for my mistakes and hopefully learned from them. She treats me like I’m a hardened criminal.” I thought about my latest offense, the kiss I’d stolen from her, wondering if by now she’d turned it into a rape attempt.

“Has she ever said anything to you about her father?”

“Her father? No. I don’t know much about her at all.” I wondered what he was getting at. “Why?”

Chakotay frowned. “I know she doesn’t talk about it much, but I thought she might have told you, knowing that you’d been through something similar.”

He had my attention with that statement. “What do you mean? Was she abused?”

“I can’t say anything more. I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it at all.” He looked miserable. “She confided a few details to me and it occurred to me that you two have a lot in common. She’s had a hard life, just as you have.”

“I didn’t know.” I shook my head. “Sometimes I can almost understand my father. He set standards for me that I don’t think even a perfect kid could have attained, and God knows I wasn’t perfect. My dad took pleasure in telling me I was not good enough, and after a while I took the same pleasure in proving to him that he was right. But, Mira--shit, what could any father hold against a girl like her? She’s got it all--brains, talent, looks.” I frowned at the thought that crossed my mind.

“There are some men who should not be allowed to have children,” Chakotay said fiercely.

I just nodded. Hearing about this made me feel like a first class shmuck, but that was nothing new to me. What bothered me most about it was thinking of Mira having a childhood as miserable as mine. It made me feel the way Chak obviously did, that I wanted to find the bastard and kill him. It made me want to do what he suggested, and cut her a little slack. She had reason not to trust, obviously. The silence had gone on for some time while I thought through what he’d said. Finally I looked up at him. “Thanks for telling me. I’ll try to patch things up with her.”

“Good. Under the hostility, she’s drawn to you, I think.”

I remembered the way she had responded to that kiss. Yeah, she’d liked it, without a doubt, maybe almost as much as *I* had. Now there was a thought... I got up and glanced around the empty room. “You about through here?” I asked. “I imagine the shower must be over by now, so you’ll probably want to get back to your bride-to-be, huh? The night’s still young, and all that.”

Chakotay just laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

He shook his head. “It’s two days before the wedding and I’m down here exercising. What does that tell you about the possibilities that this young night holds for me?” he said humorously.

I stared at him, then started to laugh. “She cut you off, huh?” I thought about that for a minute, and suddenly got a great idea. This place would be perfect for a spur of the moment bachelor party, and there was no time like the present.

The following night there was a rehearsal to get through, and then an intimate little dinner for the four of us. I’d started down to Engineering five or six times to try to talk to Mira, knowing that it was time for ME to mend fences, but I kept getting waylaid. Once it was Neelix, having a fit because something horrible had happened to the wedding cake. I took a look at it. It was nothing much, just a bit of a sag in the middle, and I suggested that he add a few extra frosting roses to cover up the hole. Then it was Ensign Olsen, who had a scratchy throat and was afraid she wouldn’t be able to sing during the ceremony after all. The doctor had checked it out and found nothing wrong so I gave her a bottle of my favorite hooch and told her to gargle with it. I figured if some of it accidentally slid down her throat, so much the better. Then, it was Chakotay, who called me into his wardroom and spent ten minutes arguing with me about inconsequential bullcrap until I finally figured out that he was just suffering from pre-wedding jitters. I was going to prescribe Ensign Olsen’s remedy, but of course the Chief doesn’t drink. I finally told him to talk to his animal guide, and he looked at me like he hadn’t even thought of that, mumbled something I didn’t catch, then took off like he had a Cardassian cruiser on his tail. I just shook my head. I hope if I ever get married, I don’t turn into an idiot overnight.

Anyway, I never made it to Engineering. I had a speech all worked out and I was going over it in my head as I was leaving the bridge at the end of my shift, on my way to deliver it. I almost made it but Captain Janeway stopped me in her usual way, with a hand on my arm.

“Well, Lieutenant, is everything ready for the big day?” she asked.

“Yes, ma’am, I think I’ve prepared for everything that could possibly happen, barring a Kazon attack,” I said.

She groaned. “Don’t even say that in jest. I don’t think poor Chakotay could handle a red alert right now.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I know, he’s pretty freaked out.”

“Well, it’s a large step, isn’t it? Enough to give anyone the jitters, I’d say. He seemed a bit more pulled together this afternoon, I thought. Hopefully his nerves will have steadied by tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him. That’s what a best man is for, right?” I glanced at the chronometer, wondering if Mira would have left Engineering by now. There was an hour before the rehearsal, plenty of time to give my speech assuming she didn’t immediately jump down my throat.

“He says you’ve done a wonderful job,” Captain Janeway was saying. “I’d like you to come and take a look at the readings with me before the rehearsal, if you don’t mind. I seem to have misplaced Zoe’s notes, and I don’t want to bother her with it or waste a lot of time at the rehearsal. Do you have a few minutes now?”

“Umm--sure, no problem.” I followed her into her ready room, wondering if I was ever going to get a chance to talk to Mira.

By the time I got away from the captain and raced down to the quarters Mira was sharing with Zoe for one more night, she was in the shower. I had twenty minutes to get back to my room and change, so I gave up on it, just asking Zoe to tell her that I’d stopped by.

Her eyes got even bigger than normal and she assured me that she would pass my message on to Mira the instant she got out of the shower. “I’m so glad you--well--it’s good that you--I mean--oh, never mind, I’ll tell her you want to talk to her,” she babbled. For some reason she was beaming at me and patting me approvingly on the arm. I had no idea why she was acting like that. Sometimes lately it felt like everybody on the ship had some kind of big secret and I was the only one who wasn’t in on it. The bullshit Sandrine had spouted to me the other night chose that moment to surface in my head, but I knew better--no way was Mira in love with me, any more than I was in love with her. In lust, maybe. Well, definitely. Farther than that, I was not prepared to go.

The rehearsal went fine. Sort of. Zoe was as cool as a little cucumber through the whole thing, but Chakotay had reverted--temporarily, I hoped--to idiocy. He dropped the ring and stumbled through his responses and had to be prompted by Zoe, who predictably rattled off those vows like she’d been speaking his native language all her life. It was really pretty funny, and Captain Janeway and I both had all we could do not to laugh out loud. I could see that she was biting the inside of her lip in an effort to control herself, and I had to think hard about the day my dog died in order to keep a properly sober face. I figured one misplaced snicker from me and Chakotay was gonna pick me up and toss me into the third row of seats. The captain--well, presumably he’d be able to restrain himself from smacking her if she giggled, but I hoped she wouldn’t test him on that. Fortunately she managed to contain herself. I guess they learn that in Command School.

I don’t know how Mira reacted to the scene since she was on the other side of Zoe where I couldn’t see her. We’d barely had time to say hello before Captain Janeway was starting things, and all I got out was “We have to talk.” She’d just nodded at me, her face composed and expressionless. It didn’t look like she’d be in danger of succumbing to hysterical laughter any time soon. I had a feeling it was going to be a long evening.

After we got the rehearsing done, we went to Chakotay’s quarters for dinner. Kes was just leaving as we got there, having set up an elegant supper with candlelight and flowers and the kind of wholesome nutritious food I always associate with Chakotay. Zoe’s more like me, always replicating something unhealthy like hot-dogs and french fries--I wonder how THAT’S gonna work. Zoe and Chakotay were standing at the door talking to Kes. I looked at the food and then at Mira, who had just sat down next to me. To my surprise, she bent over and whispered in my ear, “No more pepperoni pizzas for her, I’ll bet.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I whispered back. “I wouldn’t have bet she could get him to the altar. It’s a small step from marriage to peanut butter and banana sandwiches, I think.” I was suddenly feeling more optimistic about my chances of starting over again with Mira, especially when she squeezed my arm and let her fingers rest on my sleeve for a few seconds.

We were laughing when the bride and groom joined us, and the mood stayed light through the whole meal. Zoe teased Chakotay unmercifully about his nerves, and he took it pretty well, though he did tell a very ominous and pointed story about how one of his ancestors punished his wife for disrespect by tying her naked on the back of his horse and forcing her to ride that way for three days and three nights.

Zoe’s response was typical of her. “Hey, we’re not married yet,” she pointed out, eyes dancing.

“And does that mean that tomorrow you’ll be properly respectful and conscious of the great boon your husband does you by sharing his home, his name, and his future with you?” he asked her gravely.

“Probably not, but you’re not marrying me for my humility, are you?” She’d finished eating and gotten up, heading over to the sideboard for the fruit plate Kes had left there for dessert. She plunked the fruit on the table and stood laughing down at him. He looked up at her and his eyes softened, and the next thing we knew she was sitting on his lap and they were kissing like there was no tomorrow.

I cleared my throat and looked at Mira. “I don’t think they need us any more,” I said. “What do you say we blow this popsicle stand?”

“Good idea. Though are they supposed to be doing this tonight?” she asked doubtfully.

I thought about it, glancing over at the oblivious couple. “I’M not gonna tell ‘em to stop,” I finally said. “You wanna do it?”

“Not a chance. Let’s go before we see things we really shouldn’t.” We called out our good nights, getting a wave from Zoe and a grunt from Chakotay. I swear I heard him say he thought we’d never leave as the door whooshed shut. I know I heard Zoe giggle.

Without really saying anything, we headed for the cargo bay where the wedding was going to take place. We’d spent a whole afternoon looking at and discarding one holoprogram after another in an effort to find the perfect site for the wedding. I was glad Chakotay hadn’t insisted on the Arizona desert program he favored. I’d hiked that one once or twice and there are iguanas and tarantulas and other things in there you don’t want showing up at a party. Eventually Zoe had just said she’d marry Chakotay in any room big enough to hold all 150 of us, and they’d settled on the cargo bay. Half the crew had worked all week to get it cleaned out, and then Kes and Harry had moved in with flowers and streamers and candles, and tonight it looked fine.

Mira wandered around straightening tablecloths and moving centerpieces a quarter of an inch to the left, and I just sat and watched her. She really is a knockout, and I was looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. Her wedding dress was dark blue--I knew because I had a vest that matched it--and I could imagine what that color was going to do to her eyes. She eventually ran out of things to do and came over to sit with me.

“Mira, I’m sorry,” I said. Now that it was time to talk, most of the speech I’d been rehearsing all day deserted me, but I remembered that part.

“Sorry for what?”

“Well--for a lot of things. For not giving you a second chance. For being too proud, and not understanding enough. For--”

“For kissing me?” Boy, she had a way of getting right to the heart of the matter. She was staring down at her hands as if afraid to look me in the eye, but her voice was calm.

“Hell, no,” I said before I could consider whether she’d be expecting me to be sorry for that, too. “I mean--I did it for all the wrong reasons, as usual, but it was--it meant something to me.”

She glanced up at me. “I know.”

“You do?”

She nodded. “I know because it meant something to me, too.”

I stared at her. Her face was open and tender, and it scared me. I got up and started pacing around. “I’m not sure what to say,” I finally told her. “I don’t know what you want from me. I thought you hated me, Mira.”

“NO.” Her reply was immediate and forceful. “I never hated you. Maybe I hated myself, but never you.”

I found myself standing beside her, and I put my hand on her shoulder. “There’s no reason for you to hate yourself,” I said. “You’re as close to perfect as anyone I’ve ever met.”

She laughed at that. “You don’t know that, Tom. You barely know me.”

“I know enough. I know that you’re honest--way too honest, sometimes--and a loyal friend. I know that you do your job well. I know that you’re bright and intelligent and so beautiful that it takes my breath away to look at you. I know that you’re a good person, probably too good for someone like me.”

She shook her head but didn’t say anything.

“I know you’ve been hurt, and you find it hard to trust people,” I added. “I can understand that, maybe better than anyone else on this ship, because when I got thrown into the Delta Quadrant, the hardest thing for me to accept was that you all, from Captain Janeway on down, were willing to trust me. To let me be a part of the crew, and of your lives.” She was still staring into her lap, and I looked down at the top of her head, which was all I could see of her. “Everyone gave me a second chance, which is why I feel like such a jerk for not being willing to extend that same courtesy to you. I--I don’t know why I couldn’t. My mom didn’t raise me to treat people that way. Even my dad--” I heard my voice shake.

She looked up at me and her eyes were full of sympathy. “You don’t have to say this,” she said gently.

“Yes, I do have to. We need to be honest with each other, Mira. I need to understand why you felt so threatened by me, and you need to understand why I behaved exactly the way I thought you expected me to, like some kind of hot-headed loser.”

She sighed. “Did I lead you to believe that was what I expected of you? Yes, I guess I did. I think it was easier for me to think of you that way than to face my real feelings.”

Damn, this was getting really serious, and I could feel myself panicking. The urge to say something smart and callous was there but I bit it back and said nothing, just looked down at her. She seemed so sad and vulnerable. My hand was still on her shoulder, and I gave it a little squeeze. “So, you wanna tell me what those real feelings are?” I finally asked huskily.

She looked up again. “Just admitting to having them was hard enough. Now you expect me to describe them in detail?” There was that old familiar bite in her voice, but her eyes were still smiling even as her pretty mouth quirked in annoyance.

I grinned back at her. “How about if I admit that I have feelings for you, too, and we leave it at that for tonight?” I suggested. “The answers to those questions can wait as long as we promise to answer them honestly, won’t it? We don’t need to rush, we’ve got seventy years or so to kill.”

She smiled, mouth and all this time. There were dimples in her cheeks that I’d never noticed before, and I’m a real sucker for dimples. “That’s true,” she said. “But there is one other thing...”

Well, yeah, there would be. “What is it?” I asked, resigned.

“This.” She stood up, pushing her chair to the side. I started to back away but she caught hold of my arms and held me in place. Slowly, deliberately, she moved closer, and her hands slid up my arms until they rested on my shoulders. She raised her face and I felt her lips on my cheek, then my jaw, and finally on my mouth. My arms went around her waist and I pulled her close for a long, passionate kiss. It was great, but over too quickly, and she was taking my hand, pulling me with her. I’d have gone with her anywhere.

We ended up in a deserted storeroom nearby. It was small and cramped, full of stuff that had been temporarily moved out of the cargo bay. Not the most romantic place, but it had a small viewport that let the starlight in on us, and a big pile of soft, comfortable sacks. I found out later they were part of Neelix’s store of trade goods--lengths of material, furs, that kind of stuff. It made a nice little nest for two people who suddenly wanted to be alone together.

Sex doesn’t usually make me nervous, but I was terrified for some reason. I guess it had something to do with all the skirmishing we’d been doing that week, and the fact that I wanted Mira a hell of a lot more than I’d previously admitted to myself. She was the one who took the lead, pulling me down beside her on the sacks, kissing me with an enthusiasm I never dreamed she’d be capable of, at least not for me. I just laid back and let her have her way with me. I guess my expression must have been almost as dazed and confused as Chakotay’s had been earlier, because when we finally came up for air she looked down at me and started to laugh.

I could feel my face redden, but before I could say anything she was hugging me and apologizing. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve fantasized about this so many times, in so many different ways, but it never occurred to me that you’d be--well--scared.”

“Lady, I’m shakin’ in my boots,” I told her. “Uh--you fantasized about me?”

She nodded. “Constantly. Hopelessly. With great shame.” The dimples appeared.

I shook my head. “Unbelievable. I would never have guessed, not in a million years.”

“I should hope not,” she agreed. “I went to great lengths to be sure you’d never find out. No one knew except Zoe, and even though she’s my best friend I regretted telling her as soon as the words were out of my mouth.”

“Wait--Zoe knew?” I thought about that and everything clicked into place. “So that’s why Chakotay asked me to be his best man, huh? They were matchmaking.”

She sighed. “I begged her not to suggest it to Commander Chakotay. I thought he would ask all kinds of embarrassing questions. I even told her that if you agreed to do it I would turn her down, though of course in the end I couldn’t do that. I was in a total panic, thinking you’d somehow figure it all out.”

“You set out to be mean and ornery right off the bat, didn’t you? So I wouldn’t guess somehow that you--” I paused, not knowing what to call her feelings or what I wanted them to be.

She just smiled and touched my cheek. “I can be a first class bitch, can’t I?”

I caught her hand, turning it to kiss her palm. “First class,” I agreed, pulling her closer. She slid into my arms and raised her face to be kissed, but before I could respond she stopped me.

“Tom, you understand that the things I said to you and the way I treated you were just my way of hiding, don’t you?” she asked fearfully.

I reached a hand out to brush back the lock of silky dark hair that had fallen forward to partially hide her face, tucking it carefully behind her ear. “Mira, I’ve been hiding like that for most of my life. I know how it’s done, and why. I just hope--” I stopped, not sure if I should go on, but her eyes were suddenly so trusting that I had to be honest. “I hope you won’t feel the need to hide from me again.”

She smiled, and then we were kissing. I wasn’t nervous anymore.

We undressed each other, clothes falling everywhere. She was so beautiful, I could have just sat there and looked at her all night, but she wouldn’t let me do that. Her hands urged me on, touching my face, threading through my hair, sliding down across my chest. Her fingers brushed my penis, sweet torture. She gripped harder, bent to kiss me there, then surged up to find my mouth again. My hands shaped her breasts--perfect, just fitting my palms, made for me--then down to grasp her butt, to pull her tight against me, my hips grinding into hers. She gasped as she felt how hard I was, how much I wanted her. My fingers slipped around, a gentle touch, just to see. She was wet, hot for me. I rolled with her, coming between her legs, her arms closing around me. I kissed her again and again, felt her writhing under me, trying to pull me in.

I didn’t want to hurry. I wanted it to last all night but I couldn’t resist her, couldn’t wait. I pushed forward, finding my way, trying to be careful, but I couldn’t. I wanted her too much--how long had I wanted her? Since that first day, when she gave me the insect look and turned away from me? Maybe. Probably. I sank deep into her, then looked down at her face. She was so beautiful it made my heart hurt to look at her. I stopped, scared again, but of something new. What if this was a dream, or a joke? What if tomorrow when she walked down the aisle with Zoe, her face was hard, her eyes cold, the way they had been before? I’d been moving against her, gentle thrusts, brushes, really, savoring the feel of her skin on mine and her hands caressing my back, but now I stopped.

“Tom?” she breathed. “Is something wrong?” I could feel her tense beneath me, ready to push me away, ready to run.

I swallowed hard, tried to get a grip on my fear. Finally I shook my head. “Everything is right,” I told her. “And sometimes that just scares me.”

She let out a sigh, and I raised up so I could look down into her face. Her eyes were full of tears, but she was smiling and I saw that she understood. She touched my cheek, and then I was kissing her, wild with lust and need and hope, pushing myself, pushing her. I felt her orgasm building around me, heard her saying my name, my groan answering her as I came, taking her with me in a long fall that lasted a thousand lifetimes.

Afterwards we lay curled together for hours. We dozed, but neither of us wanted to sleep. There was no rush to make love again, or to move forward. I’m not sure that either of us knew if we wanted that, not yet. It was enough to be there together, snug in our little hideaway, knowing that we’d shared something special. Sometime in the early morning we got to talking about the wedding that was to take place in just a few short hours.

“Zoe and Chakotay--who’d have thought it?” I asked her.

She nodded. “I never really believed that it could happen. I was so afraid for her sometimes, because she loves him so completely. I thought that if she couldn’t have him she’d die.”

“Not Zoe. She might have doubts, but she would never give up,” I said. “She’s as brave and strong as--”

“As he is? Maybe you’re right.” She laughed against my chest. “Though it did seem that his courage began to fail him today, didn’t it?”

“I think he finds the prospect of marriage scarier than anything he ever faced in the Maquis, but he’ll be fine.” I said. “Chakotay may have taken a while to get there, but he knows what he’s got in Zoe. I don’t think he’ll ever let her down.” I thought about the people who had let me down in my life, and how that had made it easier for me to let others down. It had felt like a cycle I might never break until I came to Voyager and met people like Captain Janeway and Chakotay and Zoe. And Mira? It seemed there was a lot more to her than I’d first thought when I’d labeled her a stuck-up bitch with an attitude.

“They are so lucky,” she said wistfully. “I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who would care for me that much.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” I said. “Anything can happen, after all.” I couldn’t help teasing her a little, so I added, “I mean, who would have thought that you and I would be here doing this tonight?”

She glanced up at me with a grin, then snuggled closer, laying her head on my shoulder. “Or that it would feel so right,” she said, echoing my earlier words with what sounded like true contentment in her voice. Damn, was it possible I wasn’t messing this up? Hanging around with the Chief must be good for me. “I hope that the holoprogram Zoe and Chakotay picked out for their honeymoon turns out to be as comfortable as this is,” she added. “I suppose they’ll be sleeping in a tepee on a riverbank someplace, though, won’t they?”

“Not exactly.” I’d come up with a great program for them, though I wasn’t supposed to tell anybody what it was, honeymoons being private and all that.

“You know?” She lifted her head and looked at me, fingers threading through my chest hairs, wheedling. “Zoe wouldn’t tell me, but I really need to know, Tom. Is it something wonderful, or just a camping trip?” Her wandering hands were tickling my belly, teasing, promising me another trip to paradise. “I won’t tell a soul,” she said.

Ah, hell, I knew she wouldn’t tell anybody. “They’re spending the weekend in a luxury suite at the Saturn Station Waldorf Astoria,” I said. “Champagne, caviar, silk sheets, and a romantic view of the rings from their balcony. I did a damn good job with that program, if I do say so myself.”

She stared at me in shock. “I can definitely see Zoe going for that, but--Chakotay?” she finally asked, not really willing to believe my story.

I nodded. “Hard to picture, isn’t it? I think the guy’s got depths none of us ever suspected.” We both thought about it for a minute, expressions serious. Her lips twitched and that did it for me, I burst out laughing. In seconds we were both completely hysterical at the thought of our first officer experiencing all the joys of staying in a first class hotel, from the monogrammed robe hanging in the closet, to the lobster Thermidor they’d be served for dinner, to the elaborate marble bathtub that was the centerpiece of their velvet-hung boudoir. What were his ancestors gonna think?

I guess we laughed about the honeymoon for at least an hour, maybe more. We’d just get calmed down and then Mira would look at me with her violet eyes all big and round and say something like “do you suppose they’ll take a bubble bath?” and we’d be off again. We began to wonder if we could possibly get through the long day we had ahead of us without one or both of us completely breaking down--but of course we would. We had our jobs to do. We would do them well, and fall apart afterwards.

Some time toward dawn, or what passes for dawn on a starship hurtling through the cold darkness of space, when we should have been sleeping, Mira and I made love again. Afterwards we held each other close and prepared to catch as much of a nap as we could squeeze in before we had to be up and doing our duties. Just before I could fall asleep I had a great idea.

“Y’know, Mira, I really like bubble baths,” I said between yawns. “Maybe when Zoe and Chakotay are done with that program, we could try it out, too.”

She didn’t say no.