YOUR CRUISE DIRECTOR'S
PUTRID POETRY PAGE

"Counter-Counterpoint" (c) DRush, 1999.

Warning: the rhymes posted on this page are occasionally godawful and frequently bawdy, and always irreverent. Please do not download anything marked NC-17 unless you are over 18.

COFFEE...STRAIGHT UP--NC-17, written 4/99.
Written with Cybermum. Chakotay finds out how Janeway likes her coffee, among other things.

COURTING DISASTER--PG, written 5/99.
Cybermum and YCD warp the circumstances of "Someone To Watch Over Me" to reflect on Janeway's love life.

DACTYLIC INTERLUDE--R, written 11/03.
Three generations of Stewards of Gondor shagged by Aragorn.

EATING OUT--R, written 1999.
Leslie explains how food and sex cause Janeway trouble.

EXPERIMENTAL TALE--PG-13, written 1/01.
A story in limericks, written with Cybermum, containing mild spoilers for "Human Error." Desperate Chakotay tries to satisfy Seven on the holodeck.

E.N.E.R.G.I.Z.E.D.--G, written 4/88.
A Classic Trek filk to the tune of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "U.N.C.O.U.P.L.E.D." written when I was in high school.

GRAVEN IMAGES--G, written 1/01.
Once upon a midnight dreary, Janeway's crew tried to lighten the mood. The usual disasters ensue. Written with Cybermum.

HOLLOW HOLO-LOVE--PG, written 1/01.
Cybermum and YCD are sick of holographic love stories.

MISCELLANEOUS TERRIBLE LIMERICKS--R, written primarily 1997-99.
Random rhymes started during am IM session with B.S. and CaptOz, expanded regularly, mostly J/C with assorted snide comments about other characters.

THE NEW LIFE--PG, written 7/99.
An epic poem in rhyme royal written for Now Voyager.

ON THE ROPES--R, written 4/99.
A sequel to "The Fight" started by Cybermum. The usual warnings apply.

OOPS!--R, written 2/99.
A comic sequel to YCD's "Bronze Statues" by Cybermum.

REPLACEMENT -- PG, written 3/99.
A response to a Voyager1001-JetC17 challenge for a story starting with the line "I have coffee with your mum, she seems so glad to see me."

R&R--R, written 4/99.
Yet another one written with Cybermum. Holographic recreation can be a dangerous thing.

SCALED--R, written 4/99.
A story in limericks, written with Cybermum one night during a rapid e-mail session. Warnings: based on "Threshold." Some J/C sex, some J/P innuendo, some naughty language, some terrible rhymes.