THE WIZARDING WAR
By Lady Bastet and Your Cruise Director

Severus Snape had always assumed that, if he somehow survived the war, he would find himself completely alone. He did not believe that Malfoy would ever forgive his betrayal of the Dark Lord, nor did he think Lupin could forget that it had been Snape who killed Albus Dumbledore, even if it had been at Dumbledore's request. He certainly did not expect to find himself with both his lovers waiting impatiently for him to choose.

"Lupin!" Lucius said in his haughtiest tone when Snape admitted to him that, throughout the war, he had been meeting in secret with his fellow spy for strategy sessions and raucous shagging on every piece of furniture in his hideaway. "He's an animal, Severus." Looking amused with himself, he added, "He should be shackled in a silver collar."

And Remus' reaction wasn't much of an improvement. "He's a Death Eater! Even if the war is over, you know how he feels about wizards of less than pure blood...I'm sure he believes he's as superior to you as he is to me. And even if I believed for a moment that he was under Imperius when he worked for Voldemort, he's used his position at the Ministry of Magic to manipulate people for his own ends, to interfere at Hogwarts...he should still be in Azkaban!"

As entertaining as Severus thought these prison fantasies could be, he was very distressed at being forced to choose between the only two men he had ever...liked a lot, besides Regulus Black who seemed at this point to be definitively and incontrovertibly dead. "Can't we all get along?" he begged, but this was not the kind of begging Malfoy wanted to hear, and Lupin was furious that Snape thought he should get along with the man married to the woman who was the sister of the person responsible for Sirius Black's murder. Remus refused to be under the same roof as Lucius, and Lucius whipped out his wand as if he expected to be ravaged by a wolf every time Remus' name was mentioned.

In desperation, Snape went into seclusion, hoping that one man or the other would simply fail to pursue him and then he would know that his soulmate was the one who did. He was not so fortunate. Even though Lucius was still officially married to Narcissa (who said that he still smelled like Azkaban and would not let him touch her) and even though Remus had not fully untangled himself from Nymphadora (who owled Molly Weasley threatening to kill herself every time he gently suggested that they should see people closer to their own ages), they turned up simultaneously on his doorstep one afternoon. It was a good thing that Snape had just opened the door to see whether his cover story in Wizard Weekly had been delivered, or they might have cursed one another into oblivion before anyone realized what had happened.

"Put those down!" he commanded loudly and felt somewhat gratified when both Malfoy and Lupin lowered their wands. But a moment later they both leapt at him, each trying to be the first to embrace him, so that all three of them fell backward through the doorway into a pile on his uncarpeted hallway with Snape on the bottom. "Ouch," he complained.

Lucius glared at Remus. "See what you've done, you beast!"

"This is your fault, you murderer!" Remus snarled back.

"Enough!" roared Severus, shoving his way between them before one of them could attack the other. It was quite pleasant in the middle, really, with Lucius' sleek hair falling against his face and Remus' warm hands wrapped around his waist. Which made Snape realize that, really, he didn't want to have to pick one or the other of them. It would be so much nicer to have both, if only Lucius would stop treating Lupin like a werewolf and Remus would stop accusing Malfoy of being an arrogant, selfish killer. (Each of which was a fair charge, but Snape found it annoying to be reminded, in both cases.)

Lucius did not bother to argue. Sitting up, he merely began to straighten his hair. Severus could not help but watch, entranced, and he noticed that Remus was sneaking peeks as well, even though he was also straightening his clothes over the very impressive cock that had to be adjusted down his leg to fit in normal trousers. Glancing over to see whether he had made an impression, Lucius noticed the bulge in Remus' clothing and his eyes widened. Turning a surprisingly sweet smile on Severus, he said, "Well, now that you have us both under your roof, what did you have in mind?"

"Nothing, if you're going to start making remarks about lowering myself to an animal and making silver collar jokes," said Snape huffily.

To his surprise, Remus looked not appalled but amused. "Intimidated, Lucius?" he asked challengingly.

Raising his aristocratic chin, Lucius peered down his aristocratic nose and replied in his most aristocratic voice, "By you? Not at all. I mentioned it only in passing because silver would look good on you, and you would look very nice in a collar and perhaps handcuffs as well."

"You know what silver does to werewolves!" objected Snape before Lupin could whip out his large, surprisingly thick wand and curse Malfoy.

"Yes," sighed Lucius, "but..." He gazed at Lupin and smiled. "It would bring out the sparkle in his eyes."

Lupin appeared not to be impressed, crossing his arms and glaring. "You are not putting silver on him," Snape said to Malfoy.

Lucius sighed again. "All right. Have it your way. An ordinary collar then? I'm fond of black leather, chrome buckles and rings..."

"You want to wear leather and chrome?" Remus interrupted sweetly. "Black and silver would look lovely with your hair. Wouldn't it, Severus?"

Snape was forced to agree -- Lucius Malfoy in leather and chrome could have enslaved a nation -- but Lucius, who appeared not to agree at all, said in his most dignified tone, "It was meant for you, Lupin."

"I don't wear collars, Malfoy."

Lucius stared at him. "No collars? Next, you'll say there won't be any whips either."

"That's right. No animal training games."

"What a pity. I thought that Sirius Black was a friend of yours. I had hoped to make you bark like he did."

Of course, Remus promptly reached for his wand, and Lucius appeared to be preparing to put up resistance. Severus could take no more. "If you aren't going to cooperate in a threesome, you should both just go away!" he shouted.

Turning to Snape, Lucius smiled. "Why didn't you just say you wanted a threesome?" he asked sweetly. "Though I don't see how there could be a threesome, really, if Lupin refuses to be shackled properly."

"Your imagination is seriously lacking," Snape said petulantly. "It's a very simple proposition. He fucks me, I fuck you; which part don't you understand?"

Lucius shot him an imperious look. "And who will I be fucking?" Lupin hid a smirk; Snape furrowed his brow, looking thoughtful.

"My hand?"

The attractive Pureblood narrowed his eyes. "I don't think I like this arrangement. It seems a bit lacking in entertainment for me."

"You don't find it entertaining when I fuck you?" Severus demanded, leaving Remus unable to contain his smirk any longer.

"Hmm," pondered Lucius, ignoring the werewolf. "I do. But you know I don't only like to bottom."

"If this becomes a regular occurrence, you won't always bottom," Lupin said agreeably.

"How nice of you, Lupin," sneered Malfoy, glaring at Snape, who appeared to think that this becoming a regular occurrence was a fine idea. "Is this what you want? My arse, that's all?" For a moment it appeared that he might throw a tantrum -- a dignified and elegant one, of course -- but Snape interrupted.

"Of course I don't only want your arse! I want your hands and your hair and your walking stick and..." Realizing that Remus and Lucius were both staring at him, he quickly amended, "My point is that I am willing to be flexible! And not in an ankles-above-my-shoulders sense. I want all of us together, and not on your terms."

"There's nothing wrong with my terms!" declared Lucius. When Remus and Severus both stared, he demanded, "What?"

"Of course there's nothing wrong with your terms if you're you," sighed Remus. "But I have no interest in being your pet werewolf."

Lucius looked surprised. "You don't? How could that be? As you can see, I can be very reasonable. I didn't even bring up the chains!"

Clearing his throat loudly, Severus cut in, "He doesn't want to because he loves me, not you!" Lucius opened his mouth to ask who was talking about love, for he was not at all pleased that someone who wasn't himself loved his Snape, but he realized that Severus was likely working up to his infamous "I just want to be loved" speech, which was far too pathetic for any self-respecting Slytherin to stomach.

Remus, too, seemed to realize where this line of conversation was headed. To put a stop to it, he said to Lucius, "I won't play pet werewolf for him either. Sometimes I will growl a bit and pounce on him, but I draw the line at being ordered to play dead."

Nodding, Lucius said, "Ah. I see." He sighed slightly, but conceded, "All right, no pet werewolf...just fucking?"

"Is that all this is to you, just fucking?" Severus sniffled slightly. "I thought we could make love!"

Casting an exasperated glance in Snape's direction, Lucius addressed Remus. "Is he all right? He's acting a bit oddly."

"You should know. I'm sure it's something the Dark Lord did to him," Remus shot back, though he looked worried. "I'm fairly certain that he's not pregnant, though it has been known to happen using dark magic, and I don't think it's PMS -- I usually suffer from monthly cycles far more than Severus does. But he does look like he's been crying."

"Of course I've been crying!" wailed Severus. "Dumbledore made me kill him!"

Backing up a bit, Lucius said, "Ah. Yes. I see...well, Draco did try first."

"Draco didn't really try! I had no choice! He made me!"

Lupin sighed deeply. "He's definitely not himself. In fact, he's been calling me 'Remus.' The only thing that seems to cheer him up is the prospect of sex. He's very receptive to that."

"Sex? Hmm...yes, that could be worth a try, then." Nodding, Lucius began to undress as Lupin watched appreciatively, though he tried not to look too interested.

"But you said it was just fucking!" Snape wailed.

"I did not," said Lucius, shrugging off his coat. "You said it was only fucking, and that I wasn't even going to be doing any of the fucking." He cast a spell to unbutton his robe. "If it is so important to you to be on top, Lupin, you can fuck Severus. But I really think we should let him decide who he wants where. He seems to be a tad upset and deserves some distraction."

Severus could hold back no longer. "I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED!" he wailed. Both Remus and Lucius cringed at the caps-lock.

Staring at Snape, Lucius demanded, "And why do you think we are here?"

Severus sniffled and wiped his eyes. "You love me?"

Lucius stepped closer to Snape while removing the last of his garments, though he did make a "see what I have to put up with?" gesture in Remus' direction. "I'm certainly not here because I care about Lupin. Perhaps you will feel better if you're naked too?"

Snape looked only somewhat mollified at this, and Remus started flinging his clothes off while he had the chance. Reaching over, he unfastened the first of the 1400 buttons on Severus' robes. "There, you see? Everyone is happy. Lucius will only be as mean to me as I agree to let him, and I won't try to bite him unless he really deserves it. Do you want the top, middle or bottom, Severus?"

"Middle!" Severus said happily as Lucius came over to help with his buttons. "Perhaps you can switch after awhile. Or tomorrow. And switch back the next day."

"Ah." Lucius smirked at Snape, then kissed him. "You want to stay in the middle for several days? You will be very sore..."

Grabbing him, Snape kissed him back, while Remus looked as if he was wondering whether he could get away with playing with Lucius' hair while hugging Snape. "Oh, you can have a turn in the middle!" Severus told Lucius happily.

Being very busy with kissing and fondling Severus -- and just happening to accidentally fondle Lupin as well -- Lucius did not object to having his hair played with when Remus moved in behind Severus and squeezed a hand between him and Lucius to fondle his chest. Severus was moaning happily, particularly when Lucius put a hand on Remus' hip and tried to push them all in the direction of bed.

Lucius couldn't help but notice when Remus discreetly Accio-ed some lube, but Snape was rubbing all over him and he decided that, having made his protests, he might as well enjoy himself now. Pushing the other two onto the bed when they reached it, he kissed Severus deeply as Remus rolled Severus onto his side against Lucius so that he could slide down to lick Severus' arse.

Releasing Snape's mouth, Lucius turned around to face Snape's cock instead and started sucking him, nudging his own cock against Snape's face. Wriggling back against Lupin's tongue in his arse, Snape sucked Lucius enthusiastically, aware that Lupin was groping Lucius' hair where it was falling between Snape's legs. Lucius moaned shamelessly, enjoying everything, even the small tugs at his hair, and he slid a hand over Lupin's shoulder while teasing Snape's prick.

Remus, who had been secretly hoping that Lucius would grope his arse, decided that it was time to fuck Severus and slid up, lubing Severus' arse while Severus thrust into Lucius' mouth, trying not to let go too completely lest he should come before they even got going and be relegated to the side of the bed watching Remus fuck Lucius...which would have been a pretty sight, he had to admit. Easing off Snape's cock a bit, Lucius licked at his balls instead, fully aware of what Lupin was doing and quite looking forward to it.

When Remus thrust into Severus, the Slytherin sucked hard on Lucius' cock. Moaning loudly, Lucius grabbed at Remus' arse, teasing with his fingers between the buttocks as Remus reached across Snape to stroke Lucius' thigh. Severus, who was whimpering, wriggled and tried to concentrate on sucking Lucius so he didn't come too quickly, and Lucius found that it was difficult not to want to come as well when Snape was being so enthusiastic. Pulling away, he turned to kiss and rub against Severus, who found himself pushed against Lucius every time Remus thrust into him, which made him groan and grope at Lucius.

Remus, meanwhile, was watching Lucius kiss Snape and moaning at the sight. Grinning at the werewolf, Lucius summed the lube and quickly prepared himself, then turned to rub his arse against Snape's cock. Wailing in delight, Snape let Lupin propel him forward into Lucius, while Remus tried to decide whether he should slow down so he didn't finish before everyone else or come quickly so then he could watch.

"Severus!" Lucius gasped as Snape entered him, but he soon lustfully got into the rhythm, groaning shamelessly again. Lupin had reached over Severus' hip to stroke Lucius' cock, as Snape was too busy being delirious, and a grateful Lucius stretched behind over Snape to caress Remus' hip or thigh or whatever his fingers managed to find. Unable to take any more, the pleasure being quite overwhelming, Snape groaned and came in Lucius; then, feeling Snape contracting around him, Remus shuddered and came too. Lucius moaned and shuddered at all the coming, feeling slightly neglected, but as soon as Remus had recovered himself, he stroked Lucius harder, bringing him off as well.

When he was certain that Lucius had stopped spurting, Remus withdrew his hand and discreetly licked his own fingers. Just then Lucius looked over his shoulder at Severus to ask, "Feeling better?" and caught the move. Remus blushed at being caught licking Lucius' come from his fingers, but Snape sighed contentedly, seemingly oblivious to the exchange, and wriggled against Remus and hugged Lucius.

"You can get more at the source later," Lucius said softly, winking at Remus, and was rewarded by an even deeper blush.

Pulling out of Lucius and shifting away from Lupin before he fell asleep attached to them, Severus snuggled them both. Though he looked embarrassed, Lucius moaned softly and wrapped his arms around Snape, who smiled when he felt Remus reach over him to put a hand on Lucius' hip. "Aren't you glad you stopped arguing, Lucius?" Snape asked sleepily.

Frowning because he was annoyed at having his afterglow disturbed, Lucius said, "I don't know what you're talking about!" And Lupin pinched Snape's arse to warn him to shut up, to not disturb this tentative truce.

"I was...ow!" said Snape.

Lucius looked suspiciously at both Severus and Remus, wondering if perhaps he should leave, to save his pride if indeed it needed saving, but then Lupin stroked his hip again and he settled back down after grumbling a little. Lucius thought he might enjoy a turn in the middle, having Snape on top of him while he fucked the stuffing out of Lupin, who might have objected to such an arrangement had he not been distracted by Lucius who was sweaty and glowing with his hair fanned out.

Just then Severus kissed Lucius, something that Remus found a very attractive sight. He thought about getting involved, but then reminded himself that this was Malfoy, whom he really should not...mmmfffff. It seemed that Lucius was not giving him a choice in the matter, leaning over Snape to kiss him. Remus' werewolf stamina had him hard again within seconds -- though really, what mortal could resist such a response to anyone who looked like Lucius?

Lucius and Severus exchanged amused looks. Though they were spent for the moment, they were entertained by Lupin's wantonness, and Severus quickly dove over Lupin's body, aware that if he was holding Lupin's arms back, it would be impossible for Lupin to stop Lucius from sucking him. Casting a quick Scourgify on the erect cock, Lucius moved down and took it into his mouth, smiling at the idea that the werewolf was completely captive at the moment.

Remus, who had no choice but to watch what Lucius was doing to him, unless he closed his eyes (which would have been a waste of a very attractive image with Lucius' hair sticking to his belly), struggled as hard as he dared with Snape holding his wrists back with only one hand while the other wandered over Remus' chest, teasing his nipples. These were powerful wizards, after all, trained Death Eaters, and it was safest not to resist. There was something about having two people devoting their full attention to oneself, and Lucius tongue felt unnaturally long and Severus was twisting Remus' nipple as he prodded his cock against Remus' arse, plus Severus was talking dirty to him. Surely, he was completely in their power?

"You know how much you want to come in his mouth," Severus murmured, and Remus whimpered and gnashed his teeth, thinking that it would not to do let Lucius know how much he was enjoying himself. But Lucius was humming and fingering him, and it was very difficult not to come, especially with Severus telling him to go ahead and come. So he did. Noisily.

Only moments later, Remus felt Snape slide into his arse while Malfoy crawled up in the bed, offering his cock to Remus. It was hard for Remus to concentrate on sucking while his arse was being pounded and filled, but he wanted to impress the Slytherins with his Gryffindor prowess (and he was, after all, still in their power), so he tried gamely to let Lucius fuck his mouth while Snape thrust into him, reaching around Remus' head to squeeze and spank Lucius' firm buttocks.

Crying out, Lucius filled Remus' mouth with come while Snape spurted into his arse. When they had finished groaning, Severus leaned over to kiss Remus, tasting Lucius on his lips, and Lucius moved down so that they could engage in kissing messily all three of them and stroking one another's hips and chests.

This, Snape decided happily, was the perfect outcome of the Wizarding war.